My hands were shaking. I must have called and texted like 10 times to confirm that I had the right time and place. I threw like 20 outfits into my bag and headed out the door. I had a hard time finding the right place. I texted and called to let her know that I was there but needed help with directions. And I was sweating a lot. Like way too much. Breathing harder than I expected.
This was how my own boudoir session started.
It was definitely not easy getting up the courage. And I definitely did not feel confident. But just like I tell all of my amazing clients- JUST SHOW UP. So that is what I did. I showed up.
I knew it would take some time to get comfortable and my trusted photographer captured me in a totally new way.
I saw myself for the first time. In a totally NEW way.
Most of the time, I do not like to show my vulnerability. Like many other women, I feel that my vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness. Yet these portraits were all about my vulnerability, femininity, and soul. I could see in a TANGIBLE way just how STRONG and INDEPENDENT I was and I was able to CELEBRATE my inner and outer beauty for the first time in a long time.
I am not a skinny woman. I am a curvy woman.
It has taken me a long time to truly embrace my body. I have been in and out of diet programs since I was 12 years old. I always wanted to be that skinny girl who could eat potato chips— by the bag—and never gain a pound. But as I have gotten older, and heard more stories from other women—I know now— many women who feel the opposite. They want curves. They feel weird about their bodies— that I always admired and revered.
I know NOW, deep in my soul, that because of this boudoir shoot I am 100x closer to loving my body and myself more and more everyday.
I can look at these portraits when I am having a tough day and see just how fun, giggly, loving, and awesome I am. I can say wow! I did that nude shot and it was exhilarating! (Many of my clients choose to as well!)
Boudoir is all about being Real. Raw. and Vulnerable. And I truly was that day. And every day I look at those portraits.
And that is why I shoot boudoir.
I don’t want you to pretend. I don’t want you to fake it.
I want you to just BE.
Be you in all of your glory.